When My Girlfriend Satires Me

It seems that my love for metaphors and surrealism in my art may not have the necessary clarity required for a Spoken Word performance. Even more of a problem is that this inability to express myself wanders into my everyday interactions with people as well, where I’m unable to properly express my mind, or end up giving people wrong impressions about me. I’ve often prided myself for being a circular thinker, but it seems to take some skill to translate those circular thoughts is linear linguistic formats.

People have derided me for it before, but the attempt by Jannie takes the cake because not only did she take considerable efforts to show me a reflection of what I seem to sound like to people but did it in a way that knocked me off my chair, rolling in laughter.

(Then again, reading that last paragraph again, I’m convinced that this blog-post must is written by a pretentious and soul-less robot who talks about having emotions, but seldom shows it. Maybe a smiley face would help. XD There!)

So here is my Girlfriend’s attempt to satirize me. And I hope you enjoy mocking me as much as she did.


 

The intended message.

Treat as you’d like to be treated.

How Jannie would approach it

Every morning I take the bus to work
Wondering what the day will be like
And while I wait in line to show your card
The lady in front gossips hard
About the lack of smile or greeting when she enters
And how she decided to mirror the drivers
Unfriendly behaviour, since “he deserved it”.
Apparently every little bit.

Isn’t it sad, for I always say hello
And good morning with a smile to the fellow
That brings me to work at once
And despite the fact I never get a response
I am proud that I stay high with my ideals
Sparking kindness instead of hostile ideas
Disarming my opponent rather than feeding him
Gently battling the evil hymn
With how I’d like to be treated.

And so I am not surprised, to find today in return i was greeted.

How I actually seem to approach it

Won’t we all wake up tired in the morning?
Doesn’t work call for us?
Let’s the bus!
And the houses are blue and green,
As we dash past to get to the bus stop
And bam, we meet ladies and lads all talking
And by chance we get to hear how evil the bus driver is.
Never smiling, never greeting. he is spooky.
And shyly they show their passes and get past.
But I dont care, say hello and sit down.
The journey is long and I keep listening to the girls and boys Talking. about life and life and philosophy and life. how important it is.
(yadda yadda yadda
And go on with a description of the bus interior and how the people inside represent the current political situation.)
And finally, we get off the bus
And man, how glad I am I wont have to listen anymore to those young people’s stupid gossip.

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