When My Girlfriend Satires Me

It seems that my love for metaphors and sur­re­al­ism in my art may not have the nec­es­sary clar­i­ty required for a Spoken Word per­for­mance. Even more of a prob­lem is that this inabil­i­ty to express myself wan­ders into my every­day inter­ac­tions with peo­ple as well, where I’m unable to prop­er­ly express my mind, or end up giv­ing peo­ple wrong impres­sions about me. I’ve often prid­ed myself for being a cir­cu­lar thinker, but it seems to take some skill to trans­late those cir­cu­lar thoughts is lin­ear lin­guis­tic for­mats.

People have derid­ed me for it before, but the attempt by Jannie takes the cake because not only did she take con­sid­er­able efforts to show me a reflec­tion of what I seem to sound like to peo­ple but did it in a way that knocked me off my chair, rolling in laugh­ter.

(Then again, read­ing that last para­graph again, I’m con­vinced that this blog-post must is writ­ten by a pre­ten­tious and soul-less robot who talks about hav­ing emo­tions, but sel­dom shows it. Maybe a smi­ley face would help. XD There!)

So here is my Girlfriend’s attempt to sat­i­rize me. And I hope you enjoy mock­ing me as much as she did.


The intended message.

Treat as you’d like to be treat­ed.

How Jannie would approach it

Every morn­ing I take the bus to work
Wondering what the day will be like
And while I wait in line to show your card
The lady in front gos­sips hard
About the lack of smile or greet­ing when she enters
And how she decid­ed to mir­ror the dri­vers
Unfriendly behav­iour, since “he deserved it”.
Apparently every lit­tle bit.

Isn’t it sad, for I always say hel­lo
And good morn­ing with a smile to the fel­low
That brings me to work at once
And despite the fact I nev­er get a response
I am proud that I stay high with my ideals
Sparking kind­ness instead of hos­tile ideas
Disarming my oppo­nent rather than feed­ing him
Gently bat­tling the evil hymn
With how I’d like to be treat­ed.

And so I am not sur­prised, to find today in return i was greet­ed.

How I actually seem to approach it

Won’t we all wake up tired in the morn­ing?
Doesn’t work call for us?
Let’s the bus!
And the hous­es are blue and green,
As we dash past to get to the bus stop
And bam, we meet ladies and lads all talk­ing
And by chance we get to hear how evil the bus dri­ver is.
Never smil­ing, nev­er greet­ing. he is spooky.
And shy­ly they show their pass­es and get past.
But I dont care, say hel­lo and sit down.
The jour­ney is long and I keep lis­ten­ing to the girls and boys Talking. about life and life and phi­los­o­phy and life. how impor­tant it is.
(yad­da yad­da yad­da
And go on with a descrip­tion of the bus inte­ri­or and how the peo­ple inside rep­re­sent the cur­rent polit­i­cal sit­u­a­tion.)
And final­ly, we get off the bus
And man, how glad I am I wont have to lis­ten any­more to those young people’s stu­pid gos­sip.


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